Q: I work on a college campus and see black students standing around talking loudly/yelling at each other and at people that are walking by them. I have also noticed this in office settings and when it is totally inappropriate. Like in a movie theatre.My question is why are black people so loud when they are in groups of any size? And do they realize that it frightens some people?
A: So you think black people are loud? WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, FOOL!? My people did NOT sing "We Shall Overcome" and "Lift Every Voice and Sing" to NOT be able to talk at whatever decibel they like... Hell... we need to be able to shout at the top of our lungs anytime we feel just as every human being should be able to.
We can't ALL talk like Samuel L. Jackson? Want us to speak with the calmness of Denzel? You do realize that Ralph Kramden (played by Jackie Gleason) was a loud talker too, right? You might be wondering who Ralph Kramden is. He's the lead character in the old show, The Honeymooners, (and a time when blacks were RARELY seen on TV) who talked loudly and promoted domestic violence when he said, "One of these days, Alice. One of these days... POW! right in the kisser!" These folks were always yelling at each other. Did he learn this way of communication from a black man or did we, the black folks of America, learn it from them?
But why do groups of young black folks, of any size, talk loudly on a college campus? Simply - because they can. It's the same reason why you can wear New Balance sneakers and North Face jackets while drinking a Chai Latte on a crisp autumn day with friends. Because YOU can! You mentioned that they sometimes yell at each other. With black folks, it's like family anytime you come across another who looks like you - you get excited, have fun and are relaxed with your family... you get loud, laugh loud, and so forth. When they're yelling/talking loudly at people passing by - I guess it depends on the context because I've been yelled at by white men and it didn't frighten me. What it made me think - using my internal dialogue, "What the fuck is wrong with him - does he KNOW who I am? Jesse Jackson told me that I AM SOMEBODY! (oh.. and this link if WORTH checking out) and I will whip his ass if he doesn't watch himself!" I probably learned that set of dialogue from watching ROOTS - you know that's how Massa talked to his property and it's the 21st Century, dammit! It's time to flip the script! But even with that internal dialogue - I remember what happened to Ol' Miss Sophia in The Color Purple when she "sassed a white woman" and uttered these famous words, "Hell naw". Now, I'll admit, a group of white guys with shaved heads wearing all black and having a chain attached to their pants scares the shit out of me. Why in the hell are you wearing a chain and isn't it too damn hot for all that black clothing? That CAN'T be good. Same thing can be said when it comes to groups of folks wearing pointy white hats that don't say "Dunce" on it. How about this for real fear? Let's venture into traveling. I've driven across the United States twice and I have to say, there are states I'm more fearful in than others. There are cities that I have never stopped in because it wasn't a major city - so if I needed to do #2 I held that shit (literally) until I reached what I felt was a safe destination. There have also been times when I would NOT get out of the car because I know I was the EXTRAORDINARY man of color in that town. It's kind of unsettling. I imagine that white folks don't really think anything of it and if they do, they relate the feeling to something similar to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre - but homeboy wasn't wanting to hurt those folks because they were white!
When it comes to office etiquette, there seems to be an unspoken code of conduct. When white folks are in an office and they're talking about someone negatively or discussing "their business" - they tend to whisper. Sometimes it goes like this, "I heard that so and so is (whisper) gay.." or, "Did you know that she (whisper) slept with so and so?" Black folks generally will speak the truth out in the open, get loud and laugh about it. If it's about you, they'll most likely let you know - we get BOLD sometimes. If you want this loud-talking behavior to stop, you need to learn to not be afraid to communicate with black folks and teach them the code of conduct. Don't act like that's just how black folks are, loud and jovial. Most humans can and a lot of times be, loud and jovial - unless they're some goth kid with an iPod listening to EMO music, mulling over the meaning of life and how it's just not fair that they have to take algebra and why their mom likes to wear pastel colored velour track suits to the mall. For the vast majority of students in general they don't have any home training to teach them that code of conduct. Many just don't know how to act because their parents/guardians don't know how to act. It takes a village to raise a child - and just because I said village doesn't mean you had to have lived in a hut in a third world country to know the concept - Hillary Clinton wrote a book on it and made a LOT of money. With that said - each one, reach one unless you're too frightened to approach one. If that's the case, you should just get over it, look at the "Man in the Mirror" and make that change!
Come to think of it, white folks do a lot of shouting themselves. Give them some alcohol and it's a natural amplifier of sound and stupidity. It's not unusual to get the random "YEAH, man!" or "Kick ass!" or even "Fuck, yeaaah!" You can be at a bar, a restaurant with a bar, or a bar in someone's house, or a tailgate with a "bar" so that they may get FU-BARed. But see, it's okay for white folks to do that because they're all around a bunch of other people doing the exact same thing they are - and if they aren't getting drunk, then something is OBVIOUSLY wrong with them and they try to coerce them into into drinking by telling them to "relax", have "a little fun" and to "live a little".
But why do groups of young black folks, of any size, talk loudly on a college campus? Simply - because they can. It's the same reason why you can wear New Balance sneakers and North Face jackets while drinking a Chai Latte on a crisp autumn day with friends. Because YOU can! You mentioned that they sometimes yell at each other. With black folks, it's like family anytime you come across another who looks like you - you get excited, have fun and are relaxed with your family... you get loud, laugh loud, and so forth. When they're yelling/talking loudly at people passing by - I guess it depends on the context because I've been yelled at by white men and it didn't frighten me. What it made me think - using my internal dialogue, "What the fuck is wrong with him - does he KNOW who I am? Jesse Jackson told me that I AM SOMEBODY! (oh.. and this link if WORTH checking out) and I will whip his ass if he doesn't watch himself!" I probably learned that set of dialogue from watching ROOTS - you know that's how Massa talked to his property and it's the 21st Century, dammit! It's time to flip the script! But even with that internal dialogue - I remember what happened to Ol' Miss Sophia in The Color Purple when she "sassed a white woman" and uttered these famous words, "Hell naw". Now, I'll admit, a group of white guys with shaved heads wearing all black and having a chain attached to their pants scares the shit out of me. Why in the hell are you wearing a chain and isn't it too damn hot for all that black clothing? That CAN'T be good. Same thing can be said when it comes to groups of folks wearing pointy white hats that don't say "Dunce" on it. How about this for real fear? Let's venture into traveling. I've driven across the United States twice and I have to say, there are states I'm more fearful in than others. There are cities that I have never stopped in because it wasn't a major city - so if I needed to do #2 I held that shit (literally) until I reached what I felt was a safe destination. There have also been times when I would NOT get out of the car because I know I was the EXTRAORDINARY man of color in that town. It's kind of unsettling. I imagine that white folks don't really think anything of it and if they do, they relate the feeling to something similar to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre - but homeboy wasn't wanting to hurt those folks because they were white!
When it comes to office etiquette, there seems to be an unspoken code of conduct. When white folks are in an office and they're talking about someone negatively or discussing "their business" - they tend to whisper. Sometimes it goes like this, "I heard that so and so is (whisper) gay.." or, "Did you know that she (whisper) slept with so and so?" Black folks generally will speak the truth out in the open, get loud and laugh about it. If it's about you, they'll most likely let you know - we get BOLD sometimes. If you want this loud-talking behavior to stop, you need to learn to not be afraid to communicate with black folks and teach them the code of conduct. Don't act like that's just how black folks are, loud and jovial. Most humans can and a lot of times be, loud and jovial - unless they're some goth kid with an iPod listening to EMO music, mulling over the meaning of life and how it's just not fair that they have to take algebra and why their mom likes to wear pastel colored velour track suits to the mall. For the vast majority of students in general they don't have any home training to teach them that code of conduct. Many just don't know how to act because their parents/guardians don't know how to act. It takes a village to raise a child - and just because I said village doesn't mean you had to have lived in a hut in a third world country to know the concept - Hillary Clinton wrote a book on it and made a LOT of money. With that said - each one, reach one unless you're too frightened to approach one. If that's the case, you should just get over it, look at the "Man in the Mirror" and make that change!
I do agree with you about the movies I can't stand when people talk to the screen either. In a theatre predominantly filled with blacks... you get the "shout outs" to the screen. Now, if commentary during the movie is what you like.. then more power to you. Let me direct you to a theater in Washington, D.C. where my Iron Man movie was both great (because I loved the movie) and annoying (I had the black version of "At the Movies with Ebert and Roper") because behind me two folks were giving commentary like, "God Damn that's a fly ass suit!" and "Look at that ride - that's dope! I want one of dem." and "He's about to kick his ass!" Then there was my experience at a Magic Johnson Theatre at "The Boulevard" shopping center. I saw Sex and the City and I remember a woman yelling out, "Don't do it girl!" Now, I ask, do you REALLY think Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha are listening to you?
With all of that said, here is the synopsis - most black people like to talk loud, laugh loud, etc because that's what they've been raised around - loud, jovial, energetic, charismatic families (for the most part). Visit a predominately black church and you'll find that the preacher gets all into the sermon and starts to yell himself! Let me remind you white preachers like to shout too! Jimmy Swaggart? Michael Pfleger? Paula White? This is not something dedicated to folks of a darker skin and hair texture. But I digress... If talking loudly happens at a time that is inappropriate - follow your code of conduct, pull these students to the side, whisper and let them know your expectations. If it's not your office, let someone in that office know - but don't be an ass about it. #1 they're students who WANT to be professionals. They'll understand what's up. #2 you're either part of the problem or part of the solution. If you're outside and you're casually walking by a group of students, gripping your keys/bag/purse tightly - KEEP IT MOVIN'! (that's what I do when I see those goth kids!) If they're talking about you (and I would bet that 9 times out of 10 they're not - unless you're wearing some whack ass outfit), what exactly do you plan to do? Nothing! That's what.
Lastly, I'd like you to also consider that the loud talking might be a result from having music that's playing in our headphones, car, or elsewhere. The music may be so damn loud that we can't even hear ourselves unless we're yelling . I suspect some white folks might have that problem, too - caused by a good Def Leppard, Aerosmith, Motley Crue, gangsta rap, "pour some sugar on me and make love in an elevator while I visit Dr. Feelgood, screaming along the way, "fuck the police" to the cop cars I see on the way to the clinic" track. To you I say, "Fuck yeah, man - Rock out with your c*ck out!"
LINKS IN THE BLOG
The Honeymooners,
I AM SOMEBODY
ROOTS
The Color Purple
whisper
"Man in the Mirror"
commentary
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