Thursday, July 10, 2008

His DNA Says He's a , "Brotha"

Q: What does the black community think of that crazy black/white man Michael Jackson?

A: Ah, "remember the time" when Michael Jackson could do no wrong? Let's go back. Way back. Back into time - when a present day ghostly, fragile looking creature used to be a young, brown skinned afro-puffed black man. A time when he had just gone solo and recorded the album Off the Wall. Those were the days! When I was a kid, my jam was "Don't Stop til You Get Enough". You couldn't tell me nothin'! That video was cutting edge too... dancing inside a kalaidascope and shit.

With the Off the Wall album Michael had the same look he always had - those full lips, that wide nose, brown skin, and an afro. It was 1979, that you saw the beginning of THE CHANGE. In the Rock With You video - he unleashed the glitter boots and discovered a new product, the Jheri Curl.

I have to admit, Michael was rockin' that shit out with the Jheri curl. And those glitter boots? That shit was cutting edge! He took the left over material and also fashioned himself a glitter glove! You see.. Michael was EXTRA black from birth to about 1983. I mean, him growin' up in Gary, Indiana of all places, being Jehovah Witness, and singing for Motown Records? If that doesn't say old school blackness, I don't know what does! Hell, until I moved out of metro Detroit, I thought that all Jehovah Witnesses were black - they're the only church folk I knew that went door to door. It wasn't until my college years that I discovered Mormons -- that really threw my ass for a loop! I mean.. they have name badges, white button up shirts, black pants AND bicylce gear. The epitome of Nerdom.

Michael stll held on tight to his Black Card well into the 80s. When you break the color barrier on MTV - you MUST be somebody! Black folks loved that because we could now watch MTV and not be forced to watch another Pat Benatar video. You think MTV is wack as hell now? Try watching it in it's first couple of years of existence.

To be honest, it's pretty hard to lose your Black Card - I mean, you'd have to sell someone out and have a favorite uncle named Tom to even be considered. Once you're born black... even IF your skin tone goes from baked brownies to pancake batter, you're always black. Even if your nose went from double wide to single family. Even if your lips go from luscious to libia-like. You will always be black - But that doesn't mean we won't talk about your ass! But if you have TONS of money - you kind of transcend blackness and you're just a rich mofo and these days, green is the color to be! Oprah is rich, but we always remember she's black because she reminds all the white women in her audience by saying, " When I was a poor little black girl in Mississippi... " Michael barely remembers being poor. Rebbie, Jermaine and Tito may remember - but I'm sure Janet doesn't and MJ doesn't share those stories to make us remember. Michael has become an icon of pop music because of his world wide appeal. It's crazy that kids born well after his EXTREMELY popular music making days know his songs and half of them don't even speak English! It's obvious to me tha no matter how often he fucks up his appearance or allegedly does something illegal - his status as an icon cements his place in history.

With that said, what does the black community think of Michael? Honestly, the black community is forgiving as hell. We forgave so much shit. O.J. - for the alleged murders so many believed in him SO MUCH that they beleived he was innocent (I think most people know better than that now), R. Kelly for a couple of reasons - making that video (y'all know that was him!!) and making some ridiculous ass songs (In the Closet, Feelin' on Yo' Booty, some damn monkey song on the last CD, the list goes on and on), Janet Jackson and nipplegate - we heart Janet because of being Penny on Good Times and surviving an abusive mother with a hot iron - oh wait... that was just a show! Back to the forgiveness - Rev. Jesse Jackson - having an affair, Rev. Al Sharpton for getting that Press 'n' Curl, etc. Bring into question Michael becoming white and allegedly molesting some kids and giving them Jesus Juice - hell.. that's a drop in the bucket. Besides that - That all happened AFTER he became White Michael. We take all credit for things up to the Dangerous album. After that, he because W. Michael J. Jackson. When we think of the good times - we always refer to MJ pre-1991. It all just got to be too much... no black man would do such crazy shit (aside from the DC snipers - but that's like 2 out of 1000 white crazy folks in the media - blacks will typically just shoot one another). Michael fuckin' with his face, skin, renting that womb and then buying back those children from that nurse (you know that's what he did!), callin' one of his kids "Blanket", or having a place called Neverland Ranch - that is some rich white people shit right there! Actually... that's some rich white people shit who are fictitious characters on Dynasty, Falcon Crest, Dallas, and any other night time soap from the 80s!

The thing is, we all know this mofo is crazy! When you have money and you're crazy it's dangerous - that's why MJ titled that one CD that. When you combine crazy and rich with being one of the biggest selling recording artist of all time - it's utter PANDEMONIUM!! He thinks he's still the shit and we (meaning everyone on the planet) still treat him like he's the shit - and this fool ain't had a REAL hit song since 1995! He's now famous for being odd. But in the end, we still love the man because he made so many JAMS. So many that you would have thought he worked in a Smuckers Factory.

So, no matter the length and texture of hair (these days he rocks an ultra perm), the amount of make up and all, we still love her.. I mean him and just like Bertha Johnston in her purple Ladies' Day outfit and matching wide rimmed hat in church on Sunday morning praying to Jesus, we are excited and pray for his triumphant return.

Links used in this entry:

remember the time
Don't Stop til You Get Enough
Rock With You
Pat Benatar
Good Times

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